


rivers & songs

by kapsyon



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-18 06:18:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16112588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kapsyon/pseuds/kapsyon
Summary: jennie and lisa are time-travellers, in opposite directions.jennie's past is lisa's future.every time they meet, jennie knows lisa more.and lisa knows jennie less.





	1. prologue

**[8]**

 

_“hello.”_

_“hello.”_

_“can I have a strawberry?”_ hundreds of years of being alive and that was the first thing i thought of saying. good one, lisa. 

 _“what?”_ was all she could reply. i don’t know if she didn’t hear me or this is really all quite confusing. 

 _“all I can think of right now are strawberries. maybe i’m having a craving? that’s new. i’ve never had cravings before”_ , how old is she this time again? would she think i’m a little nuts for not knowing what a craving was? i’m nervous, jennie kim, this is your first time meeting me. 

 _“are you okay?”_ jennie keeping her cool as always. i’ve always loved that about her.

 _“it will take a lot getting used to. what year is it?”_ i asked, so as not to resume further awkwardness.

 _“2004.”_ cool, you’re 8 years old now. 

 _“and how old are you?”_ i asked although i knew, i just felt giddy knowing that this is the first time again. 

_“i’m 8. you?”_

_“i’m 23-ish. what’s your name?”_

_“i’m jennie. where are you from? how did you find my bedroom?”_

_“i’m from everywhere. i just stumbled upon your home and figured it was a nice thing to land here.”_

_“land? what are you, a fairy?”_

_“no, i just like to travel._ ” 

 _“like a tourist?”_ jennie kim, you and your smart mouth. it’s astonishing to witness you as a kid. 

 _“something like that”,_ was my reply. 

 

**[27]**

 

_“diary time. have we been to paris yet?”_

_“yeah. I even took you out for a date on the street.”_

_“oh god I miss foie gras.”_

_“in l’avant comptoir.”_

_“remember how we got drunk and slept on the side of the street next to our car?”_

_“it was the best.”_

_“right. have we been to l.a.?”_

_“we went to l.a.?!”_

_“we did. oh I’m so excited for you to find out what happened between you and mickey.”_

_“we went to Disneyland while we were there?”_

_“yes, love. but that’s for another story.”_

_“i guess so. well i’ll see you again, lis.”_

_“anything can happen.”_

 

**[8]**  
  


 

i was having flashbacks of jennie’s future while she was downstairs fetching me some good ol’ berry.

i still can’t put a finger on it; the thought of her as a little girl, right now, and knowing full well her whole life ahead of her. i

could never be prouder.

and luckier, to have the chance to love her. 

 

_“thank you for the strawberries, jennie”_

_“you’re welcome, stranger”,_ aaaahh, i can’t believe you said to me the exact same words i told you when i first met you. i’m so excited for all the things you have yet to know, my love. 

_“you can call me lisa. but you can’t tell anyone that.”_

_“i can’t tell anyone what?”_

_“you can’t tell anyone my name. that’s rule number 2”,_ there are 21 rules in total, and you have memorized them all.. or you have yet to memorize them all. 

_“there are rules? how many rules are there?”_

_“it’s for you to find out.”_

—

 _“so, let me get this straight. you’re from the future?”_ smart. if jennie kim would be epitomized in one word it would be smart. 

 _“y-yo-you got that from what i said?”_ i said in false ignorance, half-laughing. 

_“cause you basically said ‘i’m from the future’ about three minutes ago?”_

_“i said that?!”_ you’ll get this inside joke soon enough, love. 

_“yep. so you’re like a time-traveller?”_

_“yep.”_

_“and you stumbled upon my room by accident?”_

_“yep.”_

_“you’re a clumsy time-traveller”,_ jennie said, half-mocking. at this age, you already know how to get someone hold up into ridicule.   

 _“don’t worry. in the grand scheme of things, everything falls into place”,_ i said with assurance and a smile but it seems like jennie isn’t done asking questions yet. 

 

 _“are you married, lisa?”_ so after finding out i’m a time traveller, the next thing she asks is about my lovelife. you’re really something else, jen. 

 _“i have a wife”,_ was my plain response. 

 _“is she pretty?”_ as an 8-year old kid, knowing a woman has a wife and not a husband must be controversial but this was the first thing you asked. 

_“very. she’s a doctor. and she has your eyes.”_

_“my dad is a doctor too!”_

_“what do you want to be when you grow up?”_

_“i want to be a doctor like my dad.”_

_“you keep at it.”_

_“you said you’re from the future, am i going to be a doctor?”_

_“shh, love. spoilers.”_

 

—

jennie continued on asking things about the universe, and time, and aliens, and my life.

i think i almost got her thinking twice about saving lives in the future because she asked how to become who i am; said she want to travel the galaxies as well.

i guess she got too tired because she fell asleep in the middle of asking supposedly another question. 

i tucked her in and took my time looking at her face.

memorizing every detail to cherish.

you got your whole life ahead of you, kid.

once i felt she was in a deep sleep, i started whispering to her. 

_“when you wake up, you’re going to remember me._

_well… you’re going to remember me a little._

_i’ll be a story in your head. and that’s okay._

_we are all stories in the end._

_just make it a good one, okay?_ ”

 

_“you are going to be loved._

_you will be safe,_

_and cared for,_

_and protected._

_you’re going to be happy.”_

 

 _“live well. love yourself. remember me”,_ my last words to her, and then i kissed her on the forehead. 

before i leave, i left a diary under her bed; tangible proof that i exist, that i could still be existing.

that one day she’s going to know everything about me.

and she’s going to know how much i loved her.


	2. chapter one

**[21]**

 

i was making soup in the kitchen while waiting for the unconscious stranger to wake up after they had passed out at my door.

as medical students, we were trained for basic first aid.

i looked around to make sure this wasn’t a heist, a skit, or anything else;

turns out, she was alone.

it was extremely weird and unusual for a person to just knock on my door as if they had been here before.

 

 _“sit still, does anything hurt?”_ i asked once i saw her open her eyes. it looked like she just came from war and was exhausted.

 

 _“who are you? where is jennie kim?”_ were her first words.

 

 _“jennie kim?”_ came my bewildered reply.

 

_“yeah, jennie kim. little 8-year old girl, black hair, cat eyes. where is she?”_

 

i paused as i tried to collect my thoughts to figure out how to respond but she continued talking—

 

_“i promised her i would be back after 10 minutes but it seemed like i went a bit far. has anything happened to her?”_

 

i felt myself tense up, finding my thoughts in a scramble, mouth agape.

 

 _“jennie kim hasn’t lived here in a long time”,_ i said slowly as soon as i found the words.

 

 _“how long?”_ she said, brows furrowed.

 

 _“six months”,_ i replied.

 

 _“no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. i can’t be six months late, i said ten minutes. i promised her”,_ she slumped onto the couch looking like she just lost a battle she didn’t even fought.

 

i studied every detail of her face, but it still made no sense.

lisa. 

she remains unchanged.

her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh.

 

it took me back to my musings.

how i grew up with faint memories of a young woman asking me for strawberries and telling me stories of her life as a time traveller.

i thought everything was just a dream until i saw a postcard on my bedside table with the words,

**“jennie kim, anything can happen and probably will.”**

it was difficult having to know so much but you couldn’t tell anyone about it because people would think you’re crazy.

as a kid, if i told my parents that story, maybe they would’ve sent me to a therapist.

i held onto that postcard tightly for as long as I can remember, the same way i held onto lisa’s promise that she would be back after ten minutes but i never saw her again.

until today. –

 

 _“i have a question”,_ i uttered four words to break the silence.

 

 _“what is it?”,_ lisa replied, helping herself to the bowl of soup i made few minutes ago.

 

_“what did that promise mean to you?”_

 

_“what do you mean? it meant everything to me.”_

 

i gathered my thoughts and prepared for what i was going to say next.

 

_“it hasn’t been six months, lisa. it’s been thirteen years.”_

 

her jaw dropped, eyes widening in apparent confusion and shock.

 

 _“you said six months! why did you say six months?”_ she shouted in severe frustration.

 

 _“well why did you say ten minutes?”_ i shouted back.

 

the tension was building up.

 

until she broke into a smile.

 

_“you.. are.. jennie kim.”_

 

lisa leapt out of the couch and threw herself onto me. she enveloped me in a big hug, purely ecstatic.

 

 _“jennie kim!”_ lisa yelled, _“you **are**  that little girl!”_

 

 _“i’m jennie,”_ i agreed, _“and you’re late!”_ i shouted back, again.

 

 _“has it really been thirteen years? perhaps i got lost in some other timeline and lost track of time”,_ she explained.

 

_“a time traveller, losing track of time? you’re funny.”_

 

 _“what happened?”_ she asked.

 

 _“thirteen years”,_ i answered.

 

 _“what happened?”_ she insisted.

 

_“thirteen years. i thought maybe you weren’t real.”_

 

 _“no, **what** happened?”_ she emphasized.

 

_“thirteen years. lots of bullying, lots of thinking that maybe i was crazy. it was all a vivid blur but now i’m studying medicine.”_

 

 _“you are living the dream now, huh?”_ she couldn’t help but smile, it was pretty obvious.

 

 _“well, since both my parents died, i figured this would be a way i could live up to the legacy they left behind”_ , i said.

 

 _“but you,”_ i continued, _“hello, you. something in me had always known that you weren’t imaginary.”_

 

_“of course. you are a smart kid. besides, i left you something as collateral when i left,”_

 

_“the postcard.”_

 

_“the diary.”_

 

we **both** said at the same time.

 

 _“there was a diary?!”_ i was in turmoil.

 

 _“shh, love. spoilers”_ , she said just above a whisper.


	3. chapter two

**[18]**

 

“oh crap.”

i buried my face behind the steering wheel, thumping my forehead one, two, three times. fingers tapping nervously as i peeked out into mrs. lee’s front yard – her gate still intact. phew, that was close.

if my dad were alive, i know i’d feel his dagger-like glare berating me for my reckless driving, mom secretly smiling in the backseat. picture-perfect family you see in movies.

i miss them, all the time.

i released the keys, went down, got a basket of muffins in the backseat and left it above mrs. lee’s mailbox. here you go, mrs. lee, this is me showing gratitude for helping me practice my parallel parking.

i opened the door of the place i used to call home – but these now-plain, white walls make me feel like i’ve never been more alone.

i would normally make a beeline upstairs, avoiding whatever noticeable change has been done to the living room. but today was different.

my gaze lingered onto the worn-out couch, then to the coffee table across it, and finally onto the ottoman my dad used to rest his feet on whenever he watched his favorite shows. my eyes wandered deeper, gravitating towards the baby grand piano alongside the stairs, reminiscing how my mom used to play it on sundays.

sweeping clean the room, my eyes laid rest onto the staircase wall, where annual immortalizations of our family portraits hung still.

everything now a memory – all my sentences prefixed by “we used to.”

i felt my eyes well up with tears but cut short by a voice calling out my name.

 

 _“jennie?”_ our house help called from upstairs.

i had told her to finally clean up whatever was left in my room, to be transferred to my parents’ room – which I would be using from now on.

 _“yes? i’m here. hold up, i’m coming,”_ the idea of having someone to talk to was much better than being alone with thoughts. it made me take the flight of stairs quicker.

 _“what’s up?”_ i found her midway re-arranging my bed, and she stopped to hand me a small item. _“what’s that?”_ i probed the black book with a red ribbon clumsily knotted around it being handed to me.

_"found it under your bed. i think someone left it for you.”_

 

i’ve _never_ seen this before.

 

i hurriedly took off the ribbon and skimmed through the pages; maybe my parents left it for me. but to my surprise-

.  
.

_“it’s blank.”_


	4. chapter three

**[23]**

 

 _“what would you be if you weren’t who you are?”_ i asked, out of nowhere. 

lisa and i were having breakfast together off of one plate; one hand holding the spoon, the other one holding hers. scooping pancake bites into each other’s mouths in between kisses and giggles. 

she turned her face towards me then started laughing softly, _“where did that come from?”_ she replied, eyes half-closed, laughter still evident. 

 _“i don’t know, i just had a thought”,_ i said in response, smiling in her direction, _“i mean, you can be anyone you want to be any time you want, pun intended,”_ i ended my statement, earning a sudden kiss on the cheek from the beauty beside me.

 _“you’re so cute”,_ she said, suppressing a giggle and possibly a bite of my cheek. she straightened herself up and looked at me intently; as if i was the mona lisa, or a mother-fucking academy awards trophy. she took her time and waited until she was ready, and so i waited with her. 

 

 _“i think i would just be a blank canvas”,_ she finally broke the silence. 

_“really. everything you could possibly be and you chose to be empty?”_

 

 _“i think that’s the beauty of it. you don’t have anything to hold in your hands that you could just lay them open and accept what kind of life a certain time would give you,_ ” she said, looking at me, then glancing at the ceiling – sunlight creeping through the windows – then back at me.

 

 _“you know what’s going to feel empty?”_ she continued, eyes fixated on me. 

i like how she looks like when she looks at things she likes, _“what?”_ , i replied. 

 

she took a deep breath, _“living all those lives without you.”_

 

i froze, taken aback by what she said and how she said it.

i could feel my heart plopping down the floor, unleashing its own arms and raising it up in the air as it worships lisa and how she chooses to manifest her love.

 

 _“can i paint you?”_ was all i could say, and all i could do to try and reciprocate. 

 

 _“why?”_ she said in reply, still on a high by the triumph of what she said a few minutes ago. 

 

_“just so i know what you look like for always.”_

 

_“you know i will never look different.”_

 

 i know. i just want to remember this moment, and how you kind of said you will love me, in _all_ your lives. 

 

 _“point taken. but still. please?”_ i insisted, unleashing my puppy dog eyes. for a cat who always gets what she wants, don’t you dare say no to me right now. 

 

smiling, she nodded her head. getting an invitation for me to kiss her. why? because i _want_ to, because i _can_. i kissed her passionately, got up, and went into my previous bedroom, which i now converted into a pseudo-art studio. 

as i shut the door, i grabbed one of the stools and made lisa sit however she wanted to.

i whispered in her ear that i wanted her to take her top off. she smirked then fully obliged.

i draped a blanket over her shoulders, covering everything but making sure to expose her clavicle. 

 

_“wait,”_

i said, holding one finger up as i walked to the other room’s bookshelf where i kept my preserved vintage flowers. i snatched my favorite one and handed it to my half-naked lisa who was seated across the easel. 

 

_“now it’s perfect.”_

 

even if i got into the sciences, i never stopped creating. saving lives is a beautiful art, after all. but there was simply something inside me aching to be comforted with colors and textures.

as i stared at the beautiful woman in front of me,

all that was screaming was shushed,

all that was disturbed was calmed. 

 

 _“tilt your head a little to the right please,”_ i uttered as i started shaping her eyes. beautiful dark brown orbs that held the universe; eyes that could set a whole village on fire on her command. eyes that even aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, would envy. 

 

i started drawing the rest of her face but it took me a while when i reached her lips. i had been making art for as long as i can remember but i would rather taste those lips than recreate it with a paintbrush. 

 

and so i _stopped._  

 

 _“are you still doing me?”_ she chuckled. 

 

 _“now i will”,_ i stood up and claimed her lips- with hunger, with intensity. she then held my hips and pulled me closer, it’s as if she spent all her other lives waiting to be kissed like this. 

 

the blanket covering her frame fell, exposing all that she was. she threw her head back in laughter, _“oh no, what are we going to do about that?”_ she said in a tone that made me lose my mind. 

 

i still had paint on my hands but she didn’t mind, she made me hold her in all the parts that should be kept between us. 

 

i kissed her harder this time. my lips marking every part of her face down to her neck; kissing, and licking, and teasing. 

she started taking off the white shirt i was wearing, exposing my black bra. she then pulled me up to sit on her thighs, straddling her from the stool she was situated in.  

 

 _“babe,”_ i whispered in her ear, _“let’s move to the bedroom.”_

 

in that moment, i didn’t really care if things were on time, or if her existence was immutable.  

 

i’ve tasted the future. 

 

and it was _beautiful._

 


	5. chapter four

**[22]**

i woke up to the succulent smell of something cooking. I basked in bed until I was fully awake before jumping out. i grabbed my phone and played michael bublé’s _‘everything’_ through the speakers. 

 

pancakes.

with chocolate chips. that’s what lisa’s making. 

 

i raced to the kitchen to hug her from the back while she’s tossing the pancakes from the pan, the sudden action startling her. i kissed her lightly on her right shoulder. 

 _“hello, my love”,_ was me saying _‘good morning i’m in such in a good mood maybe you could make it even better with your pancakes because wow it smells awesome’_ but i would rather keep the elaboration to myself. 

 _“someone’s bouncy”_ , she turned around to face me as she planted a kiss on my nose, _“you slept good?”_

 _“i’m happy, i don’t know why”,_ i said as i stretched out my arms. 

 _“hmmm, let me think. maybe because.. it’s my birthday?”_ lisa smiled coyly. 

 _“it’s your birthday??!!”_ my eyes widened in surprise. i didn’t see that one coming, _“wait,”_ i paused, _“time travelers have birthdays?!”_

_"well, we didn’t just spring out of nowhere, if that’s what you’re thinking.”_

_“but wait, come to think of it, there is always a day in a year when i feel my absolute happiest, for no reason at all. like it’s a god-given day or something of the sort. like miracles coming down from the heavens to save the earth.”_

 

i glanced at lisa, who was pointing a finger at herself the whole time i was thinking aloud; a sly grin slowly revealed itself on my face. 

 

 _“you’re the miracle”_ , i said in triumphant realization. 

 

 _“your miracle- if we’re being specific”,_ she winked. 

 

_—_

 

 _“where are we heading?”_ i asked, eyebrows knitted in thought. i was riding shotgun in a speeding car with a high-spirited driver; everything else blurry at a hundred-fifty an hour, she was the only thing clear.  

 

 _“didn’t you see the note?”_ she replied, glancing in my direction, _“on your bedside?”_ she continued after she saw my baffled expression. 

 

i shook my head.

 

 _“you know you should really check your surroundings when you wake up, it really helps to be mindful,”_ she lectured in jest.  

 

 _“yes, grandma,”_ i quipped. 

 

she glanced over at me, then at the road, then back at me. halted with sigh, she finally breathed out, _“california, for my birthday.”_

 

my jaw dropped and my eyes widened, _“and when did you actually plan to tell me?”_ i said, faking annoyance, but was actually fucking thrilled. 

 

 _“when we’re on the plane,”_ she spoke through her radiant laughter, “ _but you don’t have to worry about anything, remember rule number five?”_

 

 _“there is always a plan,”_ i said in full trust. 

 

_“there is always a plan, very good.”_

 

lisa is many things, a one-in-a-million occurrence. i was way beyond blessed than the cosmos to have my days full of her. 

 

— 

 

we landed in LAX which was 35 miles away from Disneyland, my suggested destination. lisa’s idea of a perfect birthday is a grown-up dinner; mine’s  amusement park and holding her hand. 

 

we jumped into the car we rented and started our long drive. 

i winded down so i could be my best self at the world renowned happiest place; the people who coined the term must not have been inside lisa’s warm embrace. 

 

 _“hey, if i ask you something right now, would you answer me right away?”_ lisa asked. i hid my smile, faintly knowing what she was up to. 

 

 _“i’d have to think about it”,_ i said in a giggle. 

 

 _“if i were you, i wouldn’t think about it anymore. if you don’t answer my question, i will leave you here in the middle of the nowhere. this is a highway, you’d have to walk a considerable distance to reach the endpoint”_ , lisa replied in a tone that matched my humor. 

 

i rolled my eyes but my lips gave me away. i couldn’t help but smile. 

lisa makes me feel all sorts of things, 

but most importantly, she makes me happy. 

 

mom, dad,  

i’m someone’s _girlfriend_ now. 


	6. chapter five

**[34]**

 

 _“missed me sweetie?”_ lisa asked as soon as i entered the door; finally home after serving half a day at the hospital i work for. 

she was leaning over the kitchen counter holding up a bottle of wine celebrating both of our returns back home. she almost always just emerges out of nowhere. 

 _“let me think.. maybe i did”_ , i teased her with a smile while i stepped out of my shoes. 

 _“maybe?”_ she grinned, stealing a strawberry from the countertop and popping it into her mouth, _“i think you’re lying, darling.”_

 _“no i’m not,”_ i leaned back against the wall, playfully arching my brow slightly, _“i don’t lie.. well, maybe sometimes._ ” 

 _“i don’t believe that”,_ she placed the bottle of wine on top of the counter and walked closer to where i was standing.

she rested her arms on my hips, leaning into my face slightly.

she always enjoys leaving me all flustered and _wanting._

 _“okay.. maybe i did miss you,”_ a playful grin formed upon my face as i winked at the tall blonde in front of me, _“..a little.”_

 _“a little?”_ lisa knitted her brows, _“well if you didn’t miss me, then perhaps i should be going”,_ she said as if about to pack her bags. 

 _“to where?”_ i challenged. 

 _“to a time wherein you did,”_ she replied feeling victorious over this little flirting game that we’re playing. 

 _“fine.. i did miss you”,_ i sighed as i surrender. 

 _“you’re going to have to do better than that to convince me to stay, darling”,_ she started running her fingers up and down my spine, with her other hand pinning me to the wall i was leaning against. 

 _“fine.. i missed you. and your charm, and your hair, and the way you smell. is that better?”_ i wanted to say every little detail i missed and love about her just so she won’t stop what she was doing to my back and hips, but i held back. 

 _“oh, yes. much better,”_ she held my back with both of her hands, enjoying my rattled face, as if we’ve never done it over and over again, _“i still think you can do better, though.”_

 _“oh.. like this?”_ leaning forward, i gently kissed her cheek ensuing further teasing, _“is that suitable for you?”_

 _“i’m still positive you could do a bit better..”_ she grinned, _“sweetheart.”_

 _“right into it? already? be patient and you’ll be rewarded”,_ i whispered directly into her ear as i exhaled. 

 _“i thought you knew me better than that, mrs. manoban, i’m a terribly impatient person”,_ she said possessively.

i love it when she calls me _that._

 _“that’s too bad”,_ i whispered slowly, this time, an inch away from her mouth. smiling as i felt her tense up with the motion. 

 

_“you just want me to kiss you.”_

_“and what if i do? would you blame me?”_ a smug grin ran across my face, licking my lips as i gazed, _“you are awfully pretty, after all.”_

_“you should see my other fields of expertise, besides being a pretty face.”_

_“i can’t wait to see them,”_ lisa mumbled against my lips as she cupped both of my cheeks. 

 _“oh you won’t be disappointed”,_ i smirked wickedly, as i murmured words back against lisa’s plump lips. 

 _“oh i bet i wouldn’t,”_ she said, finally letting all the flirting go and claiming my lips as her own. 


	7. chapter six

**[25]**

 

 _“do you realize there’s only two options for our future together? it’s either we break up or we get married”_ , i said, all-human, all unknowing. 

 _“don’t you think i already know the answer to that?”_ , lisa replied, all-smiling. probably giving away all the answers, she held me tighter. 

 

 _“i once attended a lecture,”_ lisa shifted her position to a way she does when she’s about to tell a story of her explorations of historical times. 

we were laying in bed side-by-side, lulled by the music of 1970s rhythm & blues a.k.a. the golden era of soul. 

and maybe ohio players was right, heaven must _indeed_ be like this. 

 _“hmm?”_ i replied, lost in thought, but eager to listen to what she has to say. i always learn a thing or two whenever she speaks. 

 _“the lecturer kept asking us, ‘what is time?’ is time universal? is there an audible tick tock throughout the galaxy? a master clock?”_ lisa said, quoting the professor in her next utterance, _“the answer my friends is no. time is not absolute.”_

i gawked at lisa. how she was the person i love and the one who loved me back was beyond me. unfathomable how the cosmos had created such distinct set of atoms that made up this being in front of me. 

_“…he continued baffling us with his disheveled gray hair and the next words he spoke, ‘the distinction between the past, present, and future is but a stubborn illusion’ then he just started writing e = mc² on the board about eighteen times making us close our eyes to imagine what the sun might look like. it was formidable.”_

 

i froze in place. e = mc²? where did i hear that? 

 

 _“wait,”_ completely shocked and filled with amazement, i tried to get a grip of what i have just learned by reducing it into a palpable sentence, _“you attended a lecture of albert einstein? THE albert einstein?”_

 _“was that his name?”_ lisa’s cheeks formed up almost rendering a grin, _”now that i think about it maybe it was mr. einstein”,_ she grinned playfully. 

i threw a pillow to her face. i’m so jealous she _got_ to meet the greatest physicist of all time. i couldn’t shut my nerd up! 

but now that I think about it, lisa was never nonsensical. she would never mention things on a whim, or just because she _feels_ like it. my lisa is more than superficial. 

 

 _“hey,”_ i stated calmly, _“why did you tell me that?”_

 _“oh you know, just to brag”,_ she replied, laughing. 

i was just about to throw another pillow at her face — she doesn’t give me reasons to be jealous of all the other people she had been with in her past, but i was surely jealous about this one. 

 

 _“do you remember rule number seven?”_ lisa said, while straightening up to sit on the bed. 

of course, how can i forget, _“rule number seven, time is not the boss of you”,_ i said like a top student in a class i was the only one attending. 

 _“precisely. now, let us be the boss of time and how do the kids say it these days?”_ , her brow arched, as if into deep thought, _“ah, fuck **it** off.” _

 _“fucking off time? what you mean?”_ i said, relenting a giggle. the old soul was resurfacing.

_“jennie, we are both travelling in time — you, in linear.  me, spiraling all over the universe. but all that was just a stubborn illusion and a slap to the cosmos.”_

_“i’m lost, but you may continue.”_

_“all i’m saying, and all that i really ever wanted to say is, do you want to travel with me?”_ she grabbed both of my hands with both of hers. 

 _“to where?”_ my eyes widened in anticipation, if there was ever an adventure i would like to be whisked away to, it was, and would always be, with lisa. 

 _“to everywhere, every time. would you risk a lifetime or possibly eternity bounded to me?”_ she looked at me as if the universe were painted in my eyes; 

 

she continued, 

 

 _“i’ve been thinking a lot about the things that has happened to us the past years,”_ she shifted my position and now my back was pressed against hers, _“i won’t lie, sometimes it’s terrifying, but sometimes it’s incredibly exciting. it’s been maddening, enlightening, confusing, and always unpredictable,”_ she kept stealing kisses from my nape to my shoulders the whole time, 

 _“however,”_ she persisted, _“i don’t think there has been a single day where i didn’t hear that same voice in my head telling me ‘whatever you do, do not let her go’,”_

i was taken aback by everything and my mind was blank and i love her and i don’t ever want to escape this solace i was lost in. 

 

she then let go of me, turned around to the drawer beside the bed, and handed me a little blue velvet box. 

 _“jennie ruby jane kim, you are the love of what i hope would be my very, very long life. and i can’t spend one more second of it without you,”_ she paused and smiled, _“will you marry me?”_

 

_“oh my god,”_

 

was all i could utter in reply. i hurriedly checked under the bed for a box i had been hiding for the past four months. tears were flooding my eyes but i didn’t really care. 

i lay hold of the little shoebox and snatched a small, blue velvet box inside.

lisa was surprised; we were handing each other blue velvet boxes, not on schedule. 

 

lisa froze, but she managed to utter _“how? since when?”_ probably referring to the time i decided that i should buy a ring, too. 

 _“you know, romantic epiphanies scare me, but it was when we were laying in bed one time and you said massachusetts. but trust me, there was more to that,”_ i was half laughing and half crying and i don’t know what to feel. we humans have very complex emotions. 

 

 _“since we’re into admitting things, i need to tell you something before we become united to each other for all eternity,”_ lisa using big words sometimes scare me. 

 _“what? what is it?”_ i was intrigued. 

 _“i…got my name from mona lisa”,_ she replied in fake seriousness and half embarrassment. 

i held back my laughter, but a wicked grin was surely evident on my face, _“how?”_

_“i was born the year da vinci decided to make the greatest portrait of all time.”_

_“oh wow, that’s.. something”,_ i replied but i was severely curious. heading back into the moment i added, _“but please more on that later,”_ i smiled, _“shall i continue?”_

 _“mona lisa manoban,”_ i could hear myself chuckling, _“let’s get married.”_

lisa froze, overwhelmed by all the commotion. millions of information, hundreds of years of being alive, this is what made her lose her senses? 

 

 _“before you say anything, can i just say one more thing?”_ i mumbled to hopefully break the silence. 

then i started kissing her, with passion and longing, a kiss that romeo and juliet would have been inspired of, a kiss that would have awakened cursed princesses.

i don’t know how long the kiss took, could have been a couple of minutes, could have been forever, but did it really matter? i smiled before breaking our lips apart. 

 _"well said”_ , was lisa’s reply. 

 

and we just sat there, my back against her, arms wrapped around each other, inhaling the scent of the oasis we have found in our corner, looking at the portrait i made of _my_ mona lisa two years ago. 


	8. chapter seven

**[27]**

 

i live for the days i get to see her. 

but i know every time i do, she’ll be one step further away. 

 

and the day is coming when i look into that woman’s eyes,

 _my_ lisa, 

and she won’t have the faintest idea _who i am_. 

 

_and i think it’s going to kill me._

 

 

 _“jennie?”_ , i heard lisa’s voice amidst the trance, _“honey?”_ she peeked through the window of our veranda, _“what are you doing out here?”_

 

i’m obsessed with the night sky; the moon and the stars. i don’t know. it makes me feel like things are all relative, that it was not an accident that things happen. 

how small and unimportant we must feel compared to the vastness of the stars we are situated with — all in all a humbling experience. 

my physical self is only but a shell of my existence — i hold all the secrets of the universe inside my soul. it’s always the soul that tells the stories after all. 

i felt lisa creep up behind my back to put her arms around me, enveloping me in a warm embrace. her cheek pressed against mine; she started humming _’till there was you by the beatles_ , as we allow the beautiful tidbits of the galaxy unravel before our eyes.

in the course of tranquility, i heard lisa’s soft voice whisper in my ear. 

_“what do you think of the stars?”_

hmm, frankly,  _“i think they are sad.”_

 _“why is that?”_ lisa postponed her staring contest with the moon and stared at me instead. 

_“because they have been dead for a long while now but they make us believe they still exist.”_

 

 _“i think it’s nice to make at least one person to believe in you long after you’re gone; a legacy”,_ lisa unwound her arms around me and traced the length of them to capture my fingers, lacing them with hers in an assured hold.

there was no one else i felt safer with. 

 

_“we learn about people in our history books long after they’re gone, we always remember what they did because they’re always being spoken of. because at least one person had the foresight to make a mental note of the things they did – no matter how silly, or mundane, or eccentric”, lisa paused,_

_smiled, then continued, “no one ever changed the world by being normal.”_

 

i took in every single word she said, each brimming with the wisdom of the universe she’s accumulated in all the years she’s walked the earth and hopped in and out of timelines. 

i felt her smile press against my shoulder, and i knew she was trying to gather the multitude of thoughts she had in that wonderful brain of hers that i adored so much. 

 _take your time, my love_. there was no place else i would rather have been.

 

_“but you know what else i think is amazing, and worth more than being talked about in textbooks after two thousand or so years later?”_

_how sweet it is to be loved by you?_ i wanted to interrupt. but i let her continue. 

i mumbled a _“hmm?”_ my voice shaking. i just wanted to listen, to bask in every word she spoke. 

 _“even if i couldn’t —,”_ she let go of my left hand and twirled me around with her right hand, 

 _“change the entire world —”_ she guided my arms to hang over her shoulders like i was her precious diamond necklace, 

 _“i know that there’s one person —”_ she pulled me close to her by the waist, her words our only distance now, 

 _“whose life i have changed —“_ kissing me lightly on the forehead, 

_“and i know that’s enough of a legacy for me.”_

 

my eyes closed, and i felt the entire universe in a slow dance, with lisa and i in the center of it all. 


	9. chapter eight

**diary entry #7305** _from the recklessness of my youth to the calming of my heart_

 

this was different from the first time i saw it. the writing had returned, almost all the pages have been filled. 

and i knew how everything would go. omniscience is invigorating. 

lisa hasn’t even dared to peek. 

and she specifically instructed me that all future versions of her would dare to, but that I should be firm from going against it. 

because foreknowledge is _dangerous._

this diary was done to make sure i could keep track of my meetings with lisa, 

to keep our timelines from becoming corrupted. 

— 

**[49]**

“did you dance?” i saw lisa wearing a pretty red dress with her hair down almost exiting the party. has she always been this pretty? “well, you always dance at weddings, don’t you?” 

lisa turned to the source of the voice, her hands shot up in defeat, “you tell me.” 

i let out a bittersweet smile, _“spoilers.”_

i walked closer to her as she handed me a little black book and a stare -  as if wanting to say something but would rather die than spitting out first. 

 

“are you married, jennie?” 

“are you asking?” i said, taunting. 

“yes.” 

i gazed at her, for god knows how long, let out a sigh and said, “yes.” 

“no, hang on. did you think i was asking you to marry me or.. or.. asking if you were married?” 

“yes.” 

“no but was that a yes or a.. _yes_?” 

i leaned in closer, “yes.” 

she chuckled lightly, shaking her head, sighed and said, “jennie—,” she shifted her head to look at me directly - as if i were caged inside her eyes,  “who _are_ you?” 

“you’re going to find out very soon, love.” 

 

 

and i’m sorry that that’s when everything _changes._


End file.
